There will always be conflict between generations. The older generation is expected to change with the times. They are made to believe that their archaic thinking is not in sync with modern trends. The younger lot, on the other hand, is expected to follow in the elders’ footsteps.
Our thinking is largely shaped by our family, school and workplace. While change is inevitable and our thoughts keep evolving with the changing times, there are some traits that do not lose their relevance even with the passage of time — honesty, empathy, integrity, compassion, tolerance, humility and respect. In that case, should such universal norms also change? And if so, what could be the implications?
To be a parent is a challenging task, especially in these times of rapid change. Having traveled and lived in different parts of the world, I believe that we are in a new age, in which the new generation has a new outlook. Its approach to life, people and the environment is dominated by a more detached and practical approach, with less idealism and more cynicism. Fundamental values have a place only if these fit in with their lives, rather than their lives being designed around these values.
Parents must accept this change in a child’s attitude. Wise parenting lies in instilling basic values in children, keeping in mind their changing mindset and adapting one's approach accordingly. A sensible approach would be to accept that society will and should change, hopefully for the better. Accepting change while inculcating core values is the key to sound parenting. The early years are crucial to instill fundamental universal values in a child. It is these values that will last a lifetime.
Weakness on the part of parents in inculcating these basic values will mean the next generation will behave worse, possibly showing disrespect to parents and grossly abusing parental support solely to fulfill personal desires. Today’s children watch parental behaviour closely. Leading by example is the only mantra that can work. Children increasingly tend to question authority and this change must be accepted — and handled — by parents and teachers.
A child may mock one’s “old-fashioned values” because they may not fit into his/ her way of thinking, or interfere with his/her plans, but it is only possible to impart values to children if the parents’ lives are governed by the same principles.
Parents have to exemplify what they want their child to be. Children don’t respect and believe their parents just because they are their parents. In our modern times, the authoritarian parent has had to move into the role of friend. The openness that comes with such sharing is an advantage, but it can also result in an overly casual attitude towards parents. It is very different from times gone by when the parent's wish was the child’s command and the parent’s authority was unquestioned. Wise parenting means practicing one’s beliefs, keeping one’s your values strong and voicing them in context even as one accepts positive changes in a child's so long as his/her basic values are intact.
